Celebrating our Outdoor Selves

   A theme that continually popped in my head when reading the last 100 pages of "Up: A Mother and Daughter's Peakbagging Experience" by Patricia Ellis Herr was her humble nature to praise her daughter Alex and not herself. Patricia leads her daughter on a journey to peak bag the forty-eight 4,000 foot White Mountains when Alex is age five and six. Yes, Alex is a unique child to one, want to do this but second, follow through to completion. I would like to praise her mom though. Patricia does not give herself a high five in the book for one, seeing and acknowledging Alex's desire to summit all 4,000 foot peaks in the Whites; second, learning the art of hiking in the Whites; third, leading her daughter safely up each peak; and fourth, acknowledging her own desire to summit all 48 and then completing this achievement. It struck me that throughout the book, she continually wrote, intentionally and inferentially, how much of this adventure was her daughter's and not her own. At the end of the book, she finally acknowledges her own accomplishment and admits that she selfishly invested in this adventure for herself and not just for Alex. Why at the end of the book? Why only one sentence about it?   Mothers are nurturers. We are giving: of ourselves, our time and our energy. Our giving is unconditional. Often receiving (and sometimes wanting) nothing in return; except for maybe love. This is the theme of another recent book I read, Brothers and Me by Donna Britt. She chronicles her life of giving: to her brothers, her husbands and her children. It isn't until the end of the book that she realizes giving is selfish - in a good way. Giving is purposeful, even if done subconsciously, because it allows the giver to feel good about herself. Donna acknowledges and gives her readers permission to feel okay for selfishly giving to others, whether to their family, friends or community. This was my own revelation about myself when reading Brothers and Me which allowed me to read Ellis's book with a new set of lenses.
   Patricia gave unconditionally to her daughter's peakbagging adventure. As she explains in her book, she wants to foster and not inhibit her daughters' passions and desires for exploration. Her story is an example of how mothers give consciously and subconsciously to help their children fulfill their dreams and aspirations.  Patricia deserves a high five for being a giver but also for  finally acknowledging her accomplishment, even if it was brief and at the end of the book. Most importantly, I celebrate her because she selfishly had a vision to climb all forty-eight, 4,000 foot peaks in the White Mountains with her daughter. She implemented her vision and accomplishment it. Yes, Alex did it and that is amazing. However, Alex couldn't have done it without her mom. In her story, Patricia exemplifies a mother with  a strong mind, body and spirit that made choices to adventure and accomplish. I celebrate her!

What I Learned About My Kids (and Myself)

Looking at Mt. Lafayette and Lincoln at Lonesome Lake

Greenleaf Hut

Engaging in the outdoors and testing my kid's physical (and mental) limits has allowed me to view deep into their personalities and how they experience life. In the last couple of years, I have taken them (ages 7 and 11) backpacking, hut hiking, kayaking, bike camping, rock scrambling and camping for long periods of time far away from home. Each time I push the difficulty level on the adventure meter.

     Before last week, they have hiked 8 miles in one day, carried a backpack on short distance backpacking trips and hiked over 1,000 feet in elevation on a short trail. I combined it altogether to hike two AMC huts in the White Mountains. I was confident they would rise to the challenge. The challenge for me was keeping my sometimes impatient nature in check and being the most positive, patient mommy when the going got tough (more on that later). Huge insights learned:

• My son is internally motivated. He didn't need me, his sister or anyone else to get him up the mountain. He enjoyed the physically challenge. Often he said, "mom, this is fun." He had his moments on the second day when his little feet developed hot spots. I was grateful he communicated with me. We patched his feet a few different times and he was good to go never developing blisters. That would have definitely slowed him down. Often he was the lead encouraging us with his bouncy steps to maintain a presence behind him.
• My daughter is externally motivated. However, garnering that motivation from her mother is not the key. Instead, I received the whines of, "I'm tired or I don't want to do this anymore." Her brother can sometimes provide that motivation through competition. However, her peers and friends are the best motivators. Stalling up the mountain and complaining was the name of the game on the first day. By coincidence, we ran into neighbors at the Lonesome Lake hut. The three girls, older than her, helped motivate her to hike the difficult trail to Greenleaf hut. Upon reaching the hut, she would normally have been done for the day but she decided to summit Mt. Lafayette with the girls. The reward was the beautiful view. The reward for me was her telling me with a smile that the view was beautiful. This meant it was well worth the physical effort.

      Did the going-get-tough? Yes, from each child. I realized I had more patience for my son. Was I being fair? No, I concluded. Why was I being less patient with my daughter than my son? Upon reflection, I realized I want her to be TOUGH; be strong. Unlike her mama at her age. I have learned since then to be tough. I continue to learn everyday. There is a little voice of doubt in my head that creates fear and anxiety to remind me that maybe I can't do it. But I love proving it wrong!

      Each of these challenges in the outdoors allows me to work on my patience with my kids, in particular my daughter. I want them to learn about and explore their physical limits. I want to model for them that going beyond reaps rewards of greater self-confidence.

Trail Discovery for Kids: Michaux State Forest, PA

Taking a rest next to the reservoir

July 2012 Highlighted Hike

Beaver Trail

Michaux State Forest, PA

Trail Description

ü  This 2.5 mile out-and-back hike is in Michaux State Forest north of Route 30 and 10 miles east of Chambersburg, PA.

ü  This natural surface trail hugs the reservoir with only one 75 foot climb away from the reservoir and then a gentle slope descending back.

ü  To find the Beaver trailhead, turn left onto Milesburn Road (dirt road) from Rt. 233. At the end of the reservoir, turn right onto Birch Run Road (dirt road). Follow it for less than a mile. Park along the road after the second bridge. Walk back over the bridge to stairs on the left of the road which descend the embankment where the Beaver trailhead sign is located.

ü  The hike is not jogging stroller friendly.

ü  Trail map. To help orient, look for Caledonia State Park in pink. The reservoir is north of it. The Beaver Trail is on the north side of the reservoir adjacent to Birch Run Road.

Age Appropriateness
This hike is appropriate for children five years or older.

What is fun for kids?

ü  Hiking along the reservoir. There are six different locations to access it and play; the largest being a mile down the trail.

ü  Blueberry bushes are abundant along both sides of the trail throughout the hike.

ü  In June, the Rhododendron bushes display huge flowers.

ü  Bring a kayak or canoe and enjoy the lake. The boat ramp is located on the south side of it off of Milesburn Road.

ü  Bushwhack, rock scramble and play in Knob Run. This is the stream that runs under the second bridge on Birch Run Road. Rocky Knob Trail runs along this stream.

ü  Camp along Hosack Run at the small campground at Caledonia State Park.

Caution

ü  There is no bathroom or trash cans; therefore, pack out your garbage. The closest bathroom is at Caledonia State Park.

Beware of the posted restrictions in the state forest.